Competing with Screen Time

By Regina Symons, Ph.D., BCBA-D, LBA

It's Saturday morning.

Your child wanders into the living room.

"What can I do?"

You suggest riding bikes.

"No."

"What about LEGO?"

"No."

"Want to draw?"

"No."

A few minutes later they're stretched across the couch.

"I'm bored."

Then someone mentions the tablet.

Within seconds they're sitting up, asking where it is.

It's a scene that plays out in homes every day. Parents often wonder how a child can reject a dozen interesting activities and then suddenly become completely engaged by a screen.

Screens are remarkably good at capturing our attention. They deliver something new almost instantly, over and over again. Most of the activities we hope children will enjoy ask something very different. Reading takes a little time before you get into the story. Riding a bike is more fun once you're moving than when you're putting on your helmet. Building with blocks, drawing, or inventing a game all begin with having to think of an idea.

That beginning can feel slow.

I think that's the part we sometimes forget as adults. We see a child standing in the kitchen saying they're bored, and we picture the next thirty minutes. The child is only experiencing the next thirty seconds.

Most parents have also had evenings when the easiest answer is the screen. Dinner still needs to be cooked. A younger sibling needs attention. You've been answering questions since six o'clock that morning and simply need ten quiet minutes. There shouldn't be guilt attached to those moments. Sometimes a tablet really is the right answer.

The question is what happens when there isn't a reason to reach for it.

Sometimes it's worth letting those first few minutes of boredom play out.

Children wander. They complain. They look around the house. They disappear upstairs.

Then, almost without noticing, they're dragging blankets into the living room to build a fort. They're kicking a soccer ball against the fence. They're creating an obstacle course, making up rules as they go, arguing over those rules, and figuring out how to keep playing.

Those moments don't usually start with excitement.

They start with, "I'm bored."

As adults, we often feel pressure to solve boredom as quickly as possible. Maybe it doesn't always need solving. Sometimes children just need enough time to discover what they'll do next.

Those are the moments where planning, flexibility, creativity, problem-solving, and persistence quietly get a workout. Nobody announces that executive functioning skills are developing. From the outside, it just looks like kids playing.

Maybe that's one of the best reasons to leave a little space in the day.

Not because screens are bad.

Just because children are capable of much more than they sometimes realize if they're given the chance to find it themselves.